It's official: my idol and I are in a fight. Martha Stewart Omnimedia has decided to stop publishing Blueprint, a.k.a. my favorite magazine ever in the history of magazines, and I am hopping mad over it. Where else can I learn how to make an easy-sew taffeta ball skirt, update my vintage costume jewelry with velvet ribbon and some moxie, bake seven takes on sugar cookies, prevent pesky winter colds, choose a flattering shade of red lipstick, and set a formal table, all sandwiched between two pretty, glossy covers? Nowhere else. Hmmph. Okay, fine, there's always Real Simple. But Real Simple's fonts are not as sassy, nor is their layout as stylish or colorful, and besides, I'm forever annoyed at all those magazines that insist on being 10x13.5 inches instead of 8.5x11. They don't fit in my magazine basket properly! How am I supposed to maintain a sense of order in my life if the magazines that tell me how to maintain a sense of order cannot be stored in a sufficiently tidy manner? God! I may as well just start using the unoccupied half of my bed as auxiliary closet space and my bookcases as catch-alls for makeup, hair products, writing utensils, chocolate bars, spare buttons, and junk mail! Oh, wait...I already do both of those things, don't I? So really, without Blueprint, what hope is there for a slowly reforming slob like me?

Luckily, a couple of things are conspiring to improve my mood. One is the all Led Zeppelin all the time channel that XM Radio recently launched. Another is the fact that my company's print sales rep just sent me a 2 pound container of peppermint bark. Which, given that I am totally smitten with anything containing both peppermint and dark chocolate, I am dying to tear into at this very moment. However, due to the fact that my preemptive holiday diet was already sabotaged by my Christmas Crack binge this weekend, I am really trying not to cave. But it's nice to know that it's there, should I be overcome.

(Perhaps now would be a good time to clarify that Christmas Crack is not actually crack but a delightful party mix-type confection featuring an assortment of bite-sized snack foods covered in chocolate. In this case, pretzels, Chex, peanuts, and M&Ms. If it was actually crack, weight gain wouldn't be a problem. At least, I don't think it would, but everything I know about crack I learned from Half Nelson, so I'm no expert.)

Then, I just now found out that I'll be taking a business trip to Las Vegas in January to check out the venue for my company's upcoming sales conference. All by myself, like a grown-up businesswoman! It'll be just an overnight, but still. Vegas! With no chaperone! I have absolutely no interest in gambling aside from spending two hours playing the nickel slots with a single $20 bill to get a few free drinks, but there's so much else to do! I can see a show! And fulfill career woman fantasy #2 of being the mysterious brunette in a major dress, probably the red Diane von Furstenburg I'm wearing right this very moment (you know, in case I run into the cute Google boy on 13 who rescued me from certain death in the elevator yesterday, swoon), that simultaneously says 'I am a serious businesswoman' and 'Hello, sailor,' having dinner at the bar of a fancy restaurant on her expense account! (Second only to career woman fantasy #1 of stomping through a courthouse in a 3-piece Dolce & Gabbana suit and Louboutins while people chase after me shouting "Counselor Glowacki, Ryan Gosling is on the line - he'll be starring opposite Angelina Jolie in the major motion picture adaptation of your recent high profile case and he'd like to meet and potentially be on you." Okay, maybe not all that in the courthouse, but still.)

Finally, I rather enjoyed the following conversation:
Gilian: I have discovered something shocking
me: yes?
Gilian: go to marcjacobs.com and look at the spring 2008 women's shoe collection
me: yes?
Gilian: did you look?
he's gone crazy
me: how so?
oh, wait
Gilian: yes
there you go
me: i was looking at marc by marc
Gilian: oh no
I haven't looked at that yet
me: those lace boots are giving me a headache
marc by marc is cute
Gilian: and the heels!
and the mary janes that are filled in up to the top so you walk on top of the shoe
me: whoooooooooa
Gilian: he is on CRACK
me: it's so surreal
he's like the salvador dali of shoe design
Gilian: right. but for something to actually market to the public?
I love him
he is a genius at being a total weirdo
me: it sort of makes me love him more, actually
that and the smurf hair

Basically, Marc Jacobs is now designing shoes with heels that extend horizontally from the ball of the foot. Kind of like a wedge, but that looks like a sideways heel growing out of the front of the shoe. Amazing.